Sunday, January 30, 2011


1)Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. 

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck. 

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it's still on my desk... sorry . 
2)Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. 
Customer: Is that your left or my left?
3) Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? 

Male customer: Hello... I can't print. 
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and..... 

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it ! 
4) Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it... 
5) Customer: I have problems printing in red ... 
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? 
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
6) Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
7) Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.

8) Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
 Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
9) Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
10) A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
11) Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
12) Customer: I have a huge problem.

A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !
13) Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?
Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you.

Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I get the circle around it?

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